It's simple to imagine a world where people gather in Mega-Churches, Ball Parks, Stadiums, and Festivals. For us that's easy.
Some will have a hard time explaining the good ol' days to friends and youth. The days before trash bag prophylactics. Stories will seem naïve, and too good to be true. Likewise, others will have a tough time explaining that there was once negative interest rates, and average people got checks from the Government to sit on their hands. Just ask Andrew Yang. I'm not sure which one will seem stranger to the audience when I share those tales of yore, I'll leave that to the creative storytellers... I am sure that if the plague doesn't kill, you the Lysol will.
Now that we wash our hands in mid-masturbation, and screw without breathing, or lips pressing anything... let's create a safe-word for suffocation. I wonder how Tinder establishes new VR boundaries. C+SWF seeking C+SWF for a romp in the sack, whereas the sack is actually an 80 gallon heavy duty plastic trash can liner. The thing with Screwing Covid Style is that, well... You know. That 4 mil HDPE bag is so thin you hardly know it's there.
How far have we come in a month. New strategies, like any desperate time, call for desperate measures. Here is one -- Tequila.
Someone said take Zinc Lozenges, Others said gargle with salt water... Me, I'm thinking tequila, which is damn near to IPA, and not that piney IPA you would want, but Iso-Propyl Alcohol. Given the choice between cleaning products and time tested brands like Patron, I'll likely take the Patron. But for the fact that on the back side of this (which is the actual dark-side) we will all be addicted to something; IPA, Lysol, Anti-psychotics, and every fashion of simulants. The smart money is for sure on IPA in the near term, along with PPE, NCS (Non-Contact Sex), and of course good old fashioned Yogurt. Truth is that Billions of Cultures couldn't cure you from the Antibiotics you inhaled as a child for so much as a runny nose, and so now there is more Yogurt on the grocery shelves than Produce and Cleaning Products combined.
Let's be honest, We destroyed your mycobiome so effectively in your youth trying to kill off harmless virions that (B.C.) Before Covid we flew to Germany for a Fecal transplant to get our precious tummies back. Ahh!... The Gut. That wonderful cesspool of highly effective bacteria, which kept us alive through adolescence, now weakened by generic Amoxycillin, hates you!, and I have a letter from your doctor to prove it.
Let's face it, you suck now, as you cower in your padded cell, wearing your mask backwards, worried about the new Pangolin-Bat Bug, wondering whether NOW may be a good time to leave all of your CD's and LP's to a niece or nephew. Oh shit!..., you don't have any CD's or LP's, because you threw them out when your friends fat-shamed your HUGE collection -- telling you that Pandora and Spotify have left you behind the curve. You have only a crappy car, and a sweet coffee maker to leave to your Nephew. Your whole empire was built on shitty Chinese crap, and Un-pronounceable consecutive-consonant laden Ikea abominations. What should you leave in your will then? Don't ask me, because I really don't know. What about that sweet bike, and those swim fins you used once in Cancun? You should get your affairs in order, if you think the end is neigh.
I think that I've got a good chance of surviving this, and I do believe that we all get this thing, so don't listen to me. What's left for us all when the party stops, and the plastic cups & paper plates are tied up in the same trash bag you now sleep in? The same shit that's always left at the end of the banquet. Some whittled white-ish carrots, crusting Hummus, and an assortment of cold withering Mini-wienies. No surprises.
The days for optimism have just begun.
if you're gonna do it, then... do it clean
If you listen