Of course a few individuals are not the cause of Trumpism, rather the credibility of elite meritocracy has collapsed public confidence in "The System". 
                                 We are the Minority and Not At All Sexy
"Today, 59 percent of Americans believe that our country is in decline, 69 percent believe that the “political and economic elite don’t care about hard-working people,” 63 percent think experts don’t understand their lives, and 66 percent believe that America “needs a strong leader to take the country back from the rich and powerful.” In short, under the leadership of our current meritocratic class, trust in institutions has plummeted to the point where, three times since 2016, a large mass of voters has shoved a big middle finger in the elites’ faces by voting for Donald Trump."   (How the Ivy League Broke America) by David Brooks

         We've  passed an elephant through the eye
​                        of a needle, Now what?

Epictetus was Born into slavery at Hierapolis, present-day Pamukkale, in western Turkey) Epictetus lived in Rome until his banishment. He travelled to Nicopolis in northwestern Greece, where he spent the rest of his life. To Epictetus, all external events are beyond our control; he argued that people should accept whatever happens calmly and dispassionately. But that, all individuals are responsible for their own actions.  I'm ready to  give up and accept what I have neither the power, nor the agency to change, but this Stoic approach does leave the lunatics to run the asylum.  So is stoicism quite irresponsible, Knowing that Trumpists intend to tear down our fragile republic?  What can I do, and who should I blame? Well, I have no axe to grind, and no dog in this fight -- But I'll blame the internet.

We'd have to give a special nod to a very powerful woman who was strained through the elite pachinko machine.  RBG. A Lovely, inspirational intellectual, who broke the glass ceiling out-lived her own usefulness, all but guaranteeing that the Mad Men in charge would remain there.   She could have, afforded democrats the opportunity to appoint her replacement, and we'd have stood a fighting chance to keep things in check. But how long until RBG version 2 will be ready?  How long until Obama v2? The new system gives birth to and it raises celebrity replacements far faster than merit-based matriculants. Losing in the new economy is all but guaranteed when credentials need only be pretty, popular, or outlandish. And Democratic candidates take time, and education to cultivate.
​ The Internet is a factory farm, which makes celebrities far faster than qualified Democrats. Alas Biden also stuck it out far too long, and without a viable "Popular" candidate he all but guaranteed Trump's ascendence.  Merrick Garland should of course have indicted Trump, rather than pushing an 'Adult in the Room' eloquence. But all of the missteps matter nada.  Regardless of how the balls drop, we wont have have the opportunity to pick them back up, as we spiral down, and backwards into darkness. When a neighbor mentions that AI will replace you... as if vacation is imminent -- they've missed the mark.  The internet has already replaced you.  You are irrelevant in the new economy. Your virtual self is winning, sexy, and absurd, but the tangible you is now irrelevant. You are a Minority now, and they are keeping a list. Certainly all of those nameless "undecided's" didn't just decide to make up the electoral difference. And... Certainly it's not RBG, or Garland's fault that Trump is choosing to destroy America with his Boy-Toy Elon.  The Women, and the Minorities decided to bankrupt our country, by sorting for popularity rather than for skill.  But before we pull our rust-bucket motorhome into the out-lot of a Mod Dark Age  --We should think not about how, but why? Why do women not want a women leader? Why do minorities want a self avowed racist? Why Do the majority of the disadvantaged electorate want a criminally insane morally bankrupt monster to raise their children, taxes, and to demolish social welfare programs? Why do Americans want to go backwards to an era with less freedom, less opportunity, and less social security? Because Americans want easy access to the system which has traditionally excluded them. 
​                                             Because the internet said so.

The internet which connects us lightening fast,  just prior to segregating us, and silo'ing us, is to blame.  In fact if you'd lived without it, you wouldn't even know to be sickened with anxiety, and rage.  In this virtual world we can reinvent ourselves on a whim. We can get rich in our pajamas by exploiting obese charm, while wearing face-cream. We can gain status by pretending to matter, rather than  passing any test.  When someone says something hurtful, we merely bump from one pretend social circle to the next, while trolls do them in.  Filtering for and promoting the popular kids by charisma, over the ashes of a destroyed meritocracy.  Incoming freshmen game the old system, reshaping the way meritocracy once operated into 'LIKES'. By paying for and getting paid to be popular, or beautiful we shed the skin of performative advancement.  NOT for substantive intelligence or performance, but promotion by popularity. This is the new way. And thinkers are reportedly the minority. Your degree became far less valuable even a week ago. Your social currency cancels debts toward web ascendency. Distrust in the old system runs parallel to an express lane promise of get rich quick. This scheme seems accessible on the innerwebs. Why struggle to make it into that AP program, when you can bask in the glow of your web-cam, eating cereal for a living. Bloggers replace Pundits. Podcasters replace a Media empire. This kinetic gravity game allows meteoric ascendency, which falls just as quickly like pachinko balls through a series of apparently random filters to settle and rust. The odds are still astronomical to win the lottery, but the investment is appallingly cheap.  The choice is simple... Spend a few bucks on a Ring-light, WiFi, and Makeup... or try to squeeze through a convoluted racist ivy league bendy straw. Those who choose neither, should have voted Democratic, as they will soon discover.  We have successfully passed an elephant through the eye of a needle, Now what?   We have all settled along the bottom, doing nothing to better our chances, not because we are stoics, but because we are beaten.  Trump merely wants to break the same system which long excluded him, and the scorched earth he leaves behind won't require repair, because he will be dead by then.  The government exodus has begun, because qualified people can't swim up this filthy stream. In fairness, even Epictetus moved twice from his home and lived in peace in exile. Stoic Exile, is a sort of a cop-out, or perhaps a natural coping mechanism against defeatism.
                              Or perhaps Stoicism is Defeatism.
Were a tree to fall in the forest and a webcam not witness it's falling, Then it would remain standing. Were the internet not to host offensive idiots, they would cease to exist. Every Bully would be mute without social media, because the balance bends toward awful.
Very smart people are his highness' sworn enemy, and they are leaving in droves.  Trump cannot stand not being the smartest man in the room, or certainly the most annoying -- So his cabinet will be made up of marshmallows, and Wonder-Bread -- Soft & Tasty but devoid of substance.
I wonder what will happen when even Trump loyalists stop showing up for work.  We are all settling to the bottom of a huge pachinko machine built from random chaos and silicon. We are puddling into some absurd fossil record of our disposable, single serving one-nighters. Today 12 hours in the socials feels like a lifetime, the historic record written over by the day.
As Assholes ascend the web, their shit settles in the fish bowl, cementing  sedimentary  histories of our own collapse.
                           Democrats are a Quiet Stoic Minority

 SHHH...! They are listening. They are amongst us. They've Betrayed you.
You'd thought that you were amongst friends, but they (your neighbors) were faking it.  They kept quiet when you'd walked your dog -- and prayed with them for a merciful leader. You'd misjudged your girlfriends, and those from your Book-Club. But everyone loves the elephants, and everyone is heading to the circus. To be clear... what has occurred is NOT about Politics, this is "The Greatest Show On Earth", A Reality-Show way way down below deck of a ship which sank long ago. This is not a nightmare from which you will awaken.  This is a prolonged collapse.  For centuries, we've been scrubbing these decks and wringing a filthy rag, but the water in our bucket is gray.  Relax, because the circus is coming and the elephants will keep busy.  They will raise the tents, while the Asses weed the pasture, Clever Elephants will balance on a barrel, and enjoy the finest delicacies, and the softest beds.  The country-folk will be entertained to death. Everyone (but you) will assemble beneath the BIG-Top. The quiet ones amongst us having rooted for the strong-man, civic leaders have taken their seats. But D.T. Barnum is having his trained monkeys bar the doors, and they will soon be dousing all of the tents with kerosene -- "It will be Brilliant!, beautifully bright,  with big crowds, the biggest crowds ever!, I mean really big." "It will be the greatest Show Ever." We will all have a ring-side seat while it burns to the ground.
                              "...One nation under God, Indivisible..."

Shhh!, Stay home, and let them go. It's all for them. Your neighbors have already left.  America has been radicalized.  They are amongst us, they were the weak ones, but they've bought the farm.  Oh, Come on man, how bad can it be?  You felt assured that your world was full of reasonable adults - But the Age Of Reason was long gone before your ticked the box. That person who you've sene everyday at the doggie park, does not give a fuck. Your neighbor's political calculus tilted as you'd lamented another egregious slur in the media. Slander, and fast talk our ring-leader -- "Step Right Up" "Step Right UP". Apparently, they didn't see it that way, the shift, the slide. -- And you didn't see them change.  But they have. Everything has changed, and it's going to be really bad.
       America has changed fundamentally, and 'they' don't know the damage they've done.
The water in this bucket has always run red. They are of course wrong -- But it's far too late for blame.  Unfortunately, it is simply not mathematically possible that these "reasonable" people among you, didn't have other plans. That those who you'd considered "smart" would check the other box.  The math doesn't lie, and the waves are not blue.
            Relax now, reflect today on all that you have taken for granted.
This is NOT a nightmare which you will awaken from.  America is a faded, and tattered fantasy. A circus is coming to town, as it was foretold. The darkness enters earlier by the day. all the posters were painted and pasted to lure you in.  Mornings will be darker, and the evenings under a cloud veil dampen the leaves, bringing chilly air. Bitter frost bites fingers and toes. It will be cold soon, but Hey!, it's OKAY because your favorite program is on every day, and they've signed for four more full seasons. The Circus has something for everyone. We will have clowns and strong-men, acrobats, and wild animals. They will build a Big-Top with space for every debaucherous layman, priest, craftsman and billionaire in town. Under the Big Top, they will saw the lady in half, and make the dollar disappear, but not bring them back. They will erect new statues of themselves, and remove veneration of a better time. The Ticket price was nothing. Everyone is welcome to the grand reopening of Mount Rushmore. Believe it.

               The people have spoken.

 The numbers prove a strange & poorly guarded secret:
The Rich wanted a handout, Our minorities chose a Racist, Attorneys selected lawlessness, The weak voted for a Dictator, ​Dictators are granted absolution, The poor want to have less, Rural America wants a cage match, The Working class want to be broken,  Conservatives voted to raise taxes, The Elderly relish insecurity, Republicans adore chaos, And the ladies would prefer a rapist.

         In the land of the free, nearly everyone got exactly what they'd asked for.

This is the day, your life will surely change. Relax now, reflect today on all that you have taken for granted.  Enjoy a few short weeks while the train moves steadily toward your quiet comfort. If you survive the next four seasons, You may come to remember this quiet moment as one of your best. Time will slow,  the edges will soften and filth will blur the lines that drew our free republic. How you come to remember today, will show only how ashamed you are of the country you thought you once knew. What seems like today's chaos, will fade focus upon just how long things seemed comfortable, normal, even peaceful, in the "before times". Just as in any dystopian Sci-Fi, the scene will open with laughing and playfulness, as joy and hope are ground slowly into sand. Verdant days amidst the solace of nature,  birds discussing the changing season, while trees sway and shimmer by a warm breeze. Riparian respite along a river where trout shimmer beneath copper gold glittering flow. Dark filth, and pollutants will come for them. "America The Beautiful" will unravel.  Lesson One: Many amongst you, even your friends are NOT on "our side", "our side" of history. They will later lie, because facts no longer matter. They will later change their vote, pretending their hands were clean.  Today however, It is crucial that you keep these accusations to yourself, because these same people you'd trusted will expose you.  Of course, You may not immediately be shipped off to interment camps, but you will be identified. You will see the change. You will be alone for a long while, and then slowly people will come to grips with their mistake.
    You are squarely in the minority, and THAT! my plush friend, is the rub
   

Hush!... Hushhh...  Nothing you say today matters more than the practice of remembering how it once was --How you'd thought it was.  Hold fast to your oral traditions, perhaps you can share them later.  But the books will  change, because history is written by those in power. Surviving record will reflect a gleaming tower of morality, and perfection.  A perfect Historic correction will destroy everyone with a conscience. The times they are a changing, and this river will cut right through your town dislodging good homes, separating families from their possessions, and one-another. "Democracy" is drowning it's citizens beneath collapsing hedonism. What remains will be unrecognizable, because people will forget.
  They have it coming to them,  it's going to be really big.
A Greek Tragedy is in the works, and Caesar, A Boy King, is at last going to watch it all burn. The Flood will tumble survivors like shiny stones into a backwater  -- Grey water, which once ran clear and clean, will breed new pestilence.  And in the chaos will come subversion, unchecked crime, and reprisal.  In the new world the wealth gap will broaden, and we will have to choose who we rescue, who to share meals with.  There will NOT be enough to go around. The so called system will break down. We will again want for things,. essential things, and novelties like honesty, and integrity, fairness, and shame.
  But you will NOT have to ask yourself, "What Have I done" You will have no survivor's guilt.
​

         "Nobody ever lost a dime underestimating the American Public" 
                                                  -H.L. Mencken

Learning how to game the system has always been the real American Grit.  Did you forget that this scrappy nation was built upon resourcefulness, religion, and resentment for power?  We are a diverse collection of DIY moving backwards through time. We will now be tested to provide much of what we once had once taken for granted.  Clean water, air, food, justice... Something Wicked This Way Comes, and only last week they were putting up the posters.  Tomorrow they will begin to set-up the tents, and the ring-side seats will be ablaze with suffering animals, and filth. It will be morality's biggest test to not slip beneath it's torrent. To not peek under the tent.  You are an outlier, you are exposed, and you are losing. "Nobody ever lost a dime underestimating the American Public" -- But wealth is not measured in gold. America is broken. America is bankrupt. This is where being the 'only adult in the room' got you, democracy is dead, but you were lucky enough  to see the train leave the station.
     There is a sucker born every minute, and you just happened to be walking by the tent.
Your friends and relatives have already been radicalized. This is the momentum of a wicked wave which is coming for everyone. Even the idiots who'd asked for this will be ashamed. They too will live long enough to regret lifting the flap, and ticking that red box.  We will all live long enough to regret peeking under the tent.   Everyone, except  america's showman D.T. Barnum.
                 America Is A Sucker.

J: ..."Hey!, You Guys have any interest in doing this Italy group ride near Lake Como this year?, It's linked here." 
M: "Oh, I'm totally down for that ride, Count me in."
P:   "I only have Leadville on my Calendar, so except for that, I'm available."
M: "I'd like to make a stop in Bergamo, for a night or Two, a few Factory tours, also let's hit the Stelvio."
P:  "OK, Cool I'm totally in for that trip."
C:  "Stelvio, For Sure, I have nothing on my calendar. The Stelvio is probably the one climb I most want to ride in the whole world."
M: "I'm absolutely game to do it too, but bear in mind that cyclists have to contend with 911's and GP Bikes. 
P: "OK, for sure, But they have a Stelvio "Bike-Day" , where it's closed except for bikes".
M: "Perfect, Although that ride would be a bit like the first climb on the Triple Bypass., A glut of crowded old cyclists, Peeling the wheat from the chafe."
​
J: "Yep, Maybe we do a sanctioned ride, like the Eroica, or the Santini Stelvio ride."

C: "I might rather take my chances with super cars, and motos, than a ton of cyclists.  I hate cyclists. 
P: "Agreed!, I think that would suck."
​
C: "Cyclists are assholes."

P: "Dickheads for sure"

M: W...Wa, Wait... I'm a cyclist, right?

J: "You are a cyclist?"

​P: "Assholes"

Relax! this is not a quiz where any opinion rendered would shake the tenet that in fact Cyclists fit perfectly into the skin-suit of "Asshole" So, why has that skinny dude jacked on Scratch, Testosterone, and Retro-Grouch kit-opinions become the high-school sporto you'd most feared back when? Mean wheelmen have seemingly joined some Kavanaugh Frat, and now police your bike lane, spouting unyielding "Rules" to the lay public.
     What is it about Lycra, which transforms ordinary humble men into
                          "The Boys"? 
​      (A fictive dark anti-super hero series where bad motive runs deep)

The beauty of a group text among friends which can bring real cyclists together for a vacation trip to Lake Como, is that there are literally NO ASSHOLES on bikes in Italy, (...unless mr. underpants decides to leave his basement hole that week). 
                                            Are cyclists really Assholes?
Are all anti-hero cycling Assholes part of the new normal; shaming the sanctuary of our Beautiful Sport with middle fingers, and expletives?  Why are cyclists so easily type-cast as dickheads?, Jag-offs?, & Assholes? Is "Asshole" the end game of a life-long passion for the bicycle?  We will have a look at all of this.
        This crappy blog holds a shallow dive into the ethos of what you may have inadvertently become, when you get too snug into that padded jumper. 
​      Here is to hoping that you and others can find a way out of  your 'assholedom'.

Velominati Rule Number [42]:, (from "The Rules") A bike race shall never be preceded with a swim and/or followed by a run.
"...If it’s preceded with a swim and/or followed by a run, it is not called a bike race, it is called duathlon or a triathlon. Neither of which is a bike race. Also keep in mind that one should only swim in order to prevent drowning, and should only run if being chased. And even then, one should only run fast enough to prevent capture."

What we all know to be true, is that when most dudes fueled with carbohydrates, caffeine, & testosterone, straddle the wheel... then everyone up ahead or left behind is a "fucking asshole".  That everyone who rides a bike is an asshole is certainly not true.  But, the skeleton of an asshole tends to dress itself in lycra, and then the knit gloves come off. Asshole is to cyclists as grime to a chain. What then happens biologically turning mild-mannered accountants, and real-estate brokers into raging assholes upon bike.  What photosynthesis bewitches  lycra as it is exposed to daylight?  Is it the fate of every cyclist to aspire to rage against the humble commuter, or to berate the fixie gangs? Does society assign special powers to Alpha-Male Cyclists to police their roads, and trails? Is it inevitable that the deeper you go -- the deeper you get? Will they even recognize their transformation from mere mortal to double-douche-bag?
Will they recognize the metabolic changes from Trainer milk-toast to Dark-Prince of Protein Powder?
Once indoctrinated, can anyone even leave the (asshole) cult? What can we learn from their metamorphosis from Nice Guy with a bike, into evil uber-mensch? Is there black magic in the Velominati Rules, which predict a snarky bad outcome... an end-game?
        Are we all doomed?, or just some with a genetic marker for it?

"...And he used to be so sweet and kind", (Great Guy Really), "and then he started scorning everyone for Half-wheeling".  "He just went mad with demands to pull longer", and to "Harden the Fuck Up". The venom is most assuredly born of these modern times.  It is a step-child of our modern condition to blame everyone for dumb-shit beyond our control. It is because we feel out of control.  It is a psychic break-down, to go from gleeful kid coasting down-hill on a glittery banana-seat to dark lord in a banana-hammock donning a lycra onesie.   First, It is fair to mention that even if a cyclist were to hang-up the tire sealant and their Helmet -- And then ride only in one's pain-cave, that they will still be an asshole, and then perhaps even more people will become infected. This is because 'ass-holery' is a projection every bit as portable and hideous Indoors as it is Out in nature.  In fact, it's likely that the word "Asshole-Cyclist" was forged and hardened in the crucible of internet cycling.  ...And Internet cycling is (of course) NOT Cycling, but it still makes otherwise cool people, look rather bad.  Behaving badly is now the job of some wasteful spin-off from the Velominati. 
The hardened Asshole is likely within you, real, and inevitable, IF:
1. Cycling struck you at a later age, (let's say 31) and the Bicycle became your Mid-life convertible sport's car. (Now perhaps you own several).
2. One is an Only-Child who flamed-out at Team-sports like Soccer, and Lacrosse, (in-spite of your parents coaching), you warmed that bench for years.
3. You are the individual who used to swear by 26" Mavic CrossMax, White Industries, & Ringle' on your GT Zaskar.
​4. You paid full price for any Troy-Lee jersey prior to 1998.
5. If Hydration Packs and Fannie Packs were both worn together, ever.
6. If You'd owned Green, Grey, or Orange Tioga Psycho Tires.
7. You wear Oakley's upside-down or backwards on the brim of your ball cap; Or even reversed protecting your Man-Mullet.
8. You have ever owned an Oldsmobile?
9. You get your protein from Durian, and Peas.
10. Your first bike came new with a gel saddle and 30-degree stem.
11. You Wear "100%" brand(ed) anything.

Relax! we can find you help with your affliction.  But re-education will only work when you recognize  that you've gone way too far. You can remain a cyclist, but perhaps you were actually meant to ride stationary and indoors on Zwift or Peloton, and NOT on the real tactile paved road. Afterall Zwift is where trolls go for exercise. You will still be a giant pain in everyone's ass there, but nobody will (literally) get hurt. There is help for you Online, and at your lame-o cafe or club-house.
BUT.., If  your version of a "Gravel Bike is a Down-country Yeti or Stump-jumper -- Then you are hopeless,  (just saying). Give up and go back to frisbee golf, or cut the mullet and wander down to pickleball, you can keep the Oakley's.
Most of the antics which cast the vote toward your being an actual (On-Bike) asshole come from your riding antics.  You are a relentless jag-off on the road spouting expletives, riding like a petulant child. Your man-throttle in one hand, and the other on Jolt-Cola and Twizzlers. You are perpetually angry, and you yell a lot. 
                                                         So, Perhaps try a bell.
Sure we all run the stop-signs and we all dis-obey signals, but at our own peril.  We share the same roads and rules as huge steel coffins, and if you are inconvenienced by a car, or another cyclist, then that is likely on you.  You are a 100% fuck-tard, because you believe that you are performing the lead role in some Mansplain Movie, where you are revealing "the rules" to the un-initiated.  And, of course, you believe that most rules do not apply to you.  The fact is that you will meet your match, and will soon simper like a babe, at the wreckage when it happens.   You may either recover well, or you will damage someone else -- And neither is alright. So slow the fuck down and make good decisions, but above all, live an let live. Ride by yourself and leave other's un-corrupted by your testicular man-rage.  The literal worst thing you can do, besides cause a crash, is to ruin the ride for another super amateur.
                         ... AND OH, STOP INVENTING COOL GUY HAND SIGNALS
The road and the bike lane are not your private driveway, and they need to be respected, and shared for this whole "bike thing" thing to work-out.  We all recall that one self-appointed 'King of Texas Cycling' and he came from that mystical skin-suit colonic-club called the Triathlon.  Running from others, and Swimming in frothy pools of conceded manhood.  He couldn't escape his own gravity, and had to Cheat to keep up his status.  And, even that d-Bag has not been forgiven for his Ass-holiness". When I finish the definitive book on cycling genus, and need an illustration for "Asshole-Cyclist" it's either you or that guy filling that plate. They say that a Fraternity is forever, and anyway, you get to pick only one.  If you are already in the "A-Hole" club, then climb-aboard your basement  VR Rig, and remain there -- Lest you be outed, or worse... Ruin cycling for everyone.
                       Your crash will be your fault exclusively.
​