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If A.I. were to replace anyone with a fake, it should perhaps be Weather Men.
Weather Anchors are already Fake People and what difference would it really make if they were replaced with a Deeper Fake.
What if they could actually predict the future? What would our fake future bring?
We encounter many fake people in our social circles. Parties play out with very benign conversational fakery, which could be more meaningful, if only we could remember how to communicate.
At events people love to talk about themselves, and most love to talk about work, sports, or weather. Weather really?... Are we all that vacant that the only thing we could bond over is lamenting barometric pressure? Me, I never indulge the blase' dialog, because -- Who the Fuck wants to talk about "Why it has to rain", or [How] "You really admire your bosses boss"?
Inevitably, If I have to chat Baseball, then you should also have to discuss Tadej's exit from the Vuelta, and the World's. Seriously, If you have a pet, and you want to discuss that strange poop they had yesterday, I'd likely find that more interesting than Precipitation. Perhaps most people think everyone is stupid, But weather is only an ice-breaker for Fishermen and Farmers.
When someone asks you, "WHAT YOU DO", [for work], they either want to hit you up for money later, or they want to frame their career in some sweet superlative -- So that you'll admire their advanced mid-level management position, and Omega Seamaster.
If your party friend is wearing Docker's, a Company logo'ed Patagonia fleece, a work polo, or ball-cap on-backwards, it's maybe time to excuse yourself for the bathroom. If they are wearing something edgy, perhaps Metallic Glitter-pants, a cherished gen-one pair of filthy Vans, or even a Vintage "Husker Du" concert T, then they won't ask you benign party questions anyway.
Fake is what we do when we lack authenticity.
And when fake bikes are finally outlawed..., then perhaps real 'Pedal Bikes' will be safe to ride again.
If your party chat enters a conversation about Bikes.., (right before you get too excited to chat...) your new friend may smile widely and start in with how they've recently come to own a new E-bike. [SIGH]...
So, Perhaps it's off to the bathroom to blow my brains out.
So you begin with:
"Oh really that's great, How do you like it? Does it have a throttle like a motorcycle, or a thumb lever to go super-fast in turbo mode?"
"Yes!, it does have a super cool throttle and it goes like 40-something", they say with enthusiasm.
It seems that it was only two years ago when I brightly shared the optimism that, "...If an E-Bike gets more people on two wheels", and "that makes our city safer, and cleaner..." Then "I'm game."
(Today, I foster no such optimism -- But despair for our future yet again.)
First of all, (you mumble),"E-Bikes are NOT really Bikes are they? They are something else now, perhaps" -- "They are a resident evil, a scourge even"... And so the conversation tumbles off a rough climb, and your new friend begins to pull away, with a hard gulp of shitty IPA.
So you say something like: "The Evil-Bike wave will have a trough as deep as it's peak." "Buried beneath this chasm will be a billion toxic batteries, a vast sea of wasted resources, and a city-wide garage sale, you continue". [And] "When the right and proper rich kid gets killed, there will be a posthumous senate bill named after them", "...and when evil bikes are finally outlawed..., then perhaps 'Pedal Bikes' will be safe to ride again."
E-Bikes are not Bikes, and the "E" is for Evil
"No!, What I meant was..." And then they slam their beer, and are off to the bathroom.
After only a few years of accelerated growth in E-Bikes, I have come to mourn for our LiOn future. For the Safety of Marauding Kids screaming brushless-gears full-guns through spartan mall boulevards, across playgrounds, manicured lawns, and down "Bike Paths" -- Analogous adults tow kids to school on Throttle Dutchies running stops, precious progeny in tow, careless to the outcome of impact with a 6000 pound SUV. It's as if the Hard Foam of ther Cargo-E-Bike Bin loaded with First-graders, will soften the impact.
Flipping off cars who don't yield to your cherished electric authority... as you blow every light to drop the kiddies at school,
"...And, Fuck you, Rivian, You Eco Terrorist!" "I'm saving the planet".
It's been said that Power without control is suicide, and Horsepower without good brakes is as well. But what has emerged is the vaunted E-Bike; A symbol of affordable freedom, or rather the throttle bike your mother warned you about -- Is the Devil's doing.
Most mothers would NOT allow their kid to ride a motorcycle while, "Living under my roof" -- And yet Most "good" Parents today have simply lost their minds hypnotized by the glowing hubris of a fully charged 70 volt Li-Poly dildo.
Google Searches, such as: "Fast as Fuck E-Bike, that I Don't have to pedal", "Most Bad-ass E-Bike", or "Fastest Throttle E-Bike ever" -- Yield strange Results not by Brands anyone has ever heard of, but by Marginalized Amazon Abominations. Ads with AI generated Anglos' smiling and riding before sublimated back-drops of Mountain Ranges, and Lakes, will sell lazy fucks the latest 52 MPH Throttle Cycle as broken english: "Best depend Most great fancy going eE-Machine good-getter."
So where are you off to today on your motor-cycle Mr Eco-tourist faker? The Mall, The Arcade, Church, Brunch?
Save yourself the cost, and concussion and buy yourself one of those scale models of a Real Road Bike and set it on your desk so that you can imagine it framed by your window, out on a romantic ride where you moved your legs, and felt healthy again. By doing this Zen exercise you will pocket the cash -- And [LETS FACE IT] you weren't really going to ride this E-bike anyways, you fucking "Eco Terrorist".
Here is how this fling goes:
- You will take 72 hours to figure out how to assemble this POS, and another 32 to charge the batteries completely oblivious to what Torque spec means.
- You'll lift up this abomination, gleaming with good intentions, placating yourself with delusions of leisure rides, and bar-crawls.
- Pull your back out heaving it over the threshold of your garage door, tearing your shins on the pedal, which you threaded backwards.
- Pedal out to the beach, drain the entire battery in Turbo mode, get stranded with a 215 lb lead balloon.
- Hire an Uber XL to get you home, struggling to get it into an Expedition. Struggle to get it back in the house.
- Lament your disastrous day out, nursing your jacked-up back, bruised shins and greasy hands.
- Check the Return conditions, And swear to never ride it again.
Wait!, before you pull the trigger and order one of them, please refer to the dimensions. Check, and then re-check the scale, and make sure that the bike you are getting fits a Dwarf clown from the circus, and not a grown adult. Then Make sure that the Batteries are NOT sold separately, and that the whole bike weighs more than Three-X your weight. This way you can be sure to strand yourself deep into the wilderness when your batteries alight into a blazing green flash, and your balls actually catch fire.
Or better, the bike arrives via LTL freight carrier, and the teamster sets your pallet on the sidewalk and drives away before you realize the bike is only up to your knee, and the wheels are from a lawn-mower.
This way when you start delivering for door-dash, you'll have half of the uniform handled.
In My town they have finally passed some laws for E-Bikes and Scooters, which will of course change nothing and are completely un-enforceable. It's still illegal to ride a Segway, but E-Bikes (and in particular throttle bikes) "Which can go over 36 mph" will require a license, and Insurance. All E-bikes are still welcome on all streets and Bike Lanes, regardless of their capabilities, but Kids under 16 can't get one if they can exceed 24 mph, unless of course their parents say it's OK. E-Bikes that exceed 50 Mph are not allowed on Bike Paths, but someone can ride 48 MPH on a throttle bike beside trikes, and my group ride wherever they wish.
And so, this is the best of times, and the end of times.
IT'S GOING TO BE AN AMAZING DAY! You will be tracking this delivery right up to your doorway, and every moment will be immersed with well considered selections of Lights, Bells, Rear-view mirrors, Helmets, Outfits, Shoe Selections, and even your "Fix-It" kit (which you will certainly not need, but definitely know exactly how to use), including that Crescent wrench. and Vice-Grips.
You will have a blast with your new E-Bike, right up to the moment when your throttle lever with a 2.5 newton meter torque spec slides under your only working brake lever jamming 1200 watts into "Non-Stop-Fun-Mode", -- and BAM!!!
In relentless "Turbo Mode" you roll your last stop sign.
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Stoner Dictionary "Lid"
Lid: noun 1. a slang term for roughly one dry ounce / or 28 grams of marijuana
Example: “Man, I’m about one finger short of a lid.” ..."Dude, Can I get just one lid off you, I don't have bookoo bucks?"
Lids are always a good thing to have around your home and can assist you in any measuring occasion. Lid was common terminology used in the U.S. during the ’60s and ’70s and is now used to describe roughly 1 ounce of marijuana --Measured using the lid from a common Canning Jar such as "Ball" or "Mason", or the "LID" from a finished jar of Skippy Peanut Butter. Back then the Jars were all Glass, and the lids generally shallow. People were far more chill, and stoners even more mellow, so being exact on transactions was (umm like) un-sportsman-like.
An ounce of Mary Jane (one Lid) is about 28.35 grams of weed, a fairly good amount, and this measurement was profanely simple to do without any special tools. a scale, or any other apparatus.
On my painful, and deliriously amazing recovery ride today, As my mind drifted into that special silent whirring space where we center ourselves by bicycle -- I'd wondered , Just how much my bike weighed, [in "70's speak"]. Since upgrading some bits -- I'd wondered in particular, how much it weighed in "Stoner Parlance" rather than in that mythical "Metric System", which we only vaguely know.
First we need to establish what a Lid is not. A lid is not the top of a shoe-box... It's basically four fingers. and a Basic Jar lid use as measure for a rough ounce.
To do the calculation properly one would have to first forget all of the above B.S., because "A Lid" had no real analog to Decimal Points nor to Fractions, as it was simply fast math, or ...well, simply "A Lid".
This said, I set about to weigh my bike with many "Lids" on one side of a balance, and soon realized that absolutely nobody was going to understand what The fuck I was talking about.
So I reeled it in and thought it better to explain why I'd Upgraded anything whatsoever.
What will follow will be a decent into Superlatives, and Bike Bullshit.
You see, Last week a lady rolled the stop and nearly broke me and my bike into two pieces broadside. So when I chose the lesser damaging evasive path -- I slid into a culvert, broke two ribs and my right hand. Or...Rather, she broke my ribs, three fingers on my right hand, and removed a lot of the skin from my right side, as well as ruining my favorite jersey, and cracking my helmet.
But well, she took off.
In short I was about Three fingers short of a LID.
My body took the brunt of the spill, sparing my bike much damage. I reassembled myself, and rode the final 12 miles back bloody and battered -- Velocity and cool clotting blood had cementing my hand to the right brake hood, which required a garden hose to release it.
A week later, When I felt capable (but not comfortable) to ride again, I'd promised myself a recovery gift. Initially I'd set out to replace my Bar-Tape and the like, venerable but then decided to upgrade my aging 11-Speed Dura-Ace kit with the New Campagnolo Super Record 13 Wireless. This meant procuring a new Group-set, and retiring my aging Dura-Ace kit, and Power Meter crank to another bike -- in exchange for two more sprockets, and some sexy Black-Carbonara Italian Couture.
I didn't do this because my shit was totally fucked, because my Dura-Ace 11 worked fine lest a bent UDH and mangled bars... I did this upgrade because, as a total wreck, some missing skin, and a bad week in Bandages, and Bactine, felt like a great excuse to upgrade.
Nothing more.
Any way, I was channeling Jonas and Tadej, and wondered, "If Tadej's last winning bike sold for $163,430... [Then, I soon wondered], "What will their wrecked bikes be worth to a collector?"
Is there nostalgic value in holding onto crashed juju? The Ghisallo Bike Museum and Madonna del Ghisallo Church in Italy would certainly be looking forward to new crushed bike donations, Right?
Perhaps their wrecked bikes were still rideable.
Perhaps Not.
Well, what follows is my impression of Campy 13 Super Record, in the context of a bad hand, some compromised Body positioning, and the venerable Campy Brand's Comeback from sustained bodily injury. This all in light of the fact that with little exception there seems to be a void of useful clarity on what Campagnolo have created in Super Record 13. It also begins with "FINGERS", their importance and some of the clever things you can do with them... If you can keep them.
By the way, My bike now weighs: ~222.5 LIDS with pedals, bottle cages, and a computer mount. That Campagnolo Cambio Corsa review follows next...
Nice!
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If you can keep your fingers...
The First "Derailleur" [of sorts] by Campagnolo was sort-of Brilliant
You simply reach blindly behind you into your spokes and release your wheel, Kind-of, ...and then push your chain sideways with a tuning fork thing, then re-lock your wheel into place.
Campagnolo's New Super Record 13 Wireless is Amazing!
Nearly as brilliant as the original Cambio Corsa shifter system -- And look how far we've come since Tulio Campagnolo invented the Quick Release lever, and then later a shift lever to move the rear mech up a cog or two and make climbing easier. All of this without removing your wheel and flipping it over. Land sakes! it's astonishing that I get to ride Campy again, and it's brilliant. Especially with a broken hand.
My friends will ridicule me for getting some new bits, and the dubious reasons, but I'm glad for the pokes, because My shit is cooler than their shit right about now.
Campagnolo Super Record 13 is a great value, and in fact it's a bit less expensive than Shimano Dura-Ace and SRAM Red, (about a hundred and fifty bucks).
Generally when Some asshole starts in with How, "...Campy is the Best ever", (and) "they should never have ceded Italian dominance to the so called Asian brands" -- You know you are in for a fucking lame-o monologue full of "reasons", But when Campagnolo fell behind it was not for lack of trying, but perhaps complacency.
Today, ...Meaning this very day in time, Campy Super Record 13 is actually better, cheaper, sexier and simpler to set-up than the competition. And it's ergonomics really shine. I wont delve into why they flailed for more 2 decades. I will mention that this means that Gen Z and Millennials will have no idea what I'm talking about.
Shimano 13 is on it's way to the public, and SRAM has all sorts of cross-compatible combos possible with their latest 12 Speed Kits. Their ability to mix and match aligns with the fact that SRAM is run by cyclists. Because SRAM and Shimano Offer three principle price tiers, and Both MTB and Road for their current kits, there is a lot of cross compatible capabilities to cut costs, and to keep one rolling. I've ridden them all from Wireless XTR paired to Dura-Ace to Red One-By, and can say enthusiastically that these are all rather state of the art. And for all the rave reviews and advancements, the "Sexy" award had always gone to Shimano, because SRAM has the utilitarian look and feel of a Honda Civic. What I don't adore on SRAM like Blips, shitty batteries, and hood ergonomics, Shimano Gets Right, from most positions. What I find lame with Shimano is to reach paddles from the deep drops, and in particular under load. Climbing requires that subtle nuance of rolling one's hands up a bit and releasing primary fingers to down shift -- This is a bit sketch. But for Shimano the "Bonus Button" on the center of the brake hood seemed magic, [sometimes] but weird to hit with one's tantric thumb. while actually on the hoods. If I pull the brake with wrapped fingers, I hit my damaged digits. As such, what bright ingenuity one brand boasts, the other seems to wither at. Such is the world of patents, and lawyers. And yet these are all "horses for courses". Some will excel where others fail. Neither will have all the benefits.
Do I have a favorite? Well my opinion does not matter -- But Yes, I do now.
The marketing Director for SRAM still owes me money, and so I tend to favor Shimano... Also Shimano shifts quieter, and better under load than SRAM all day long. 11 - 12 & 13 speed, have all become the reference standard. SRAM have wide compatibilities, and broad gear ratios, mostly born of never having figured out how to make a functional front derailleur. But Now..., finally! we have another option. And, ...NO it is not a Chinese Knock-off. Also that new kit has a front derailleur which works.
There will always be a stronger market for Lexus, and Acura, and over time, their luxury cars are likely far better and more efficient than BMW, Audi, and Porsche. But at the same price, the latter have far more swagger, and prestige, to go along with theirexorbitant cost of ownership.
Coming up from behind is that purely elegant yet frustratingly troubled Italian Marca, which used to be the reference standard, Campagnolo. And the new Campy 13 is amazing!
So what if you could get that BMW 'M' which ran perfectly, and cost less than a Lexus?
There was a Bike Shop / Western Wear store in my neighborhood growing up, Called Town and Country Bikes; and it had a few high end bikes hanging from hooks amongst Wrangler's, Dingo's, Turquoise Crap, and Silver Belt Buckles.
I should say that it was mostly a clothing store, But the owner had a passion for Cool bicycles.
The ones hanging from the ceiling, had 8 by 10 ruled paper price tags taped to dusty tubing that said simply, "If you have to ask... You cant afford it". One of these was a Dawes, One was a Cinelli, and One was a Colnago. They all accumulated webs and dust over time, owing to the owner's charm and resentment for bike folk. Behind the counter was a Peg-Board display of Everest & Regina Freewheels from back when you could build them, along with some Campagnolo cogs in close single tooth jumps for brilliant close cadences. Back then, "Range" was not a thing. "Harden the Fuck Up" was in fact, a thing. And people climbed on 52 / 18's and 54 / 23's without water, lycra, or complaint. Aero wasn't yet it's own bullshit -- Because it was still silly dumb-shit which hadn't yet been born.
I never bought much at Town and Country. And because the owner didn't have much of a repair shop, nor I liquidity, I never had my bike serviced there either. I did however buy a roll of Benotto Cello Tape, to re-wrap my chrome steel Continental Bars. That blue Schwinn weighed about 9 pounds more than I did. LIKELY My bars weighed more than my Current Campy Group-set.
Most of his displayed "DONT ASK" bikes had Campagnolo Groups, and One, The Dawes, had High Flange Polished Hubs.
This was my first tingling veneration for the Italian Brand which later brought context to my aspiration to one day own some cool-ass Italian shit. Namely Campagnolo.
In Highschool I skated & My Skateboarding buddies worked odd jobs for Schwinn's elite frame factory in Waterford. I wasn't into road Bikes then, Just BMX... But the One-offs which they'd built us for Free-style and ramp riding were insanely cool. Most importantly the repurposed pump peg spikes brazed across stand-offs for gripping our Vans for tricks like a pogo-stands, bander-rolls, or a no-hander reverse stand. One friend Cameron, working as an apprentice frame-builder (a few years later), and he built me a custom bike with full Campy Nuovo Record, and the rest was history.
In College I raced in amateur events as a privateer and also with Bennet's Bikes, and I rode the shit out of that SLX Paramount. Eventually that bike would get me a job in a Bike shop to feed the habit. This was both a blessing and my entire life's undoing.
[N+1]
THIS blurry CONTEXT SERVES ONLY AS THE LENS THROUGH WHICH I WILL NOW VENERATE CAMPAGNOLO'S SUPER-ELITE NEW SUPER RECORD, "COMEBACK GROUPSET".
Completely impartial, I know, but they "Nailed It"!
The New Campagnolo 13 is hands down the greatest, simplest shit I've installed in years. This is also the easiest to set-up and perhaps the most thoughtfully ergonomic rider interface to date. It is simply "superbe", [Sorry Suntour].
I pulled apart my recently crashed Dura-Ace kit, and cleaned up the frame in preparation for the headache of a new bike build with the Drama of learning a new Italian Methodology.
There was none of that.
I dreaded most the Brake Set-up because My Aethos has that stupid proprietary drilling which required a second rear brake for the front Fork. Asking A.I. as to why a flat mount front brake wont fit my Aethos, was the longest idiotic garbage feedback loop from a stupid WWW which clearly couldn't find it's own ass, let alone cogent answers. In short -- Aethos and Tarmac use Rear Brakes because they wanted to shave grams by using hollow fork lowers, which meant drilling the bottom brake hole higher. That means if you order a set of Campy brakes for flat mount 140 or 160 you will inevitably get the wrong front brake, and NO, there is no adapter plate to make a front brake work on an Aethos.
So, provided you know this, then you simply order two 140mm Flat mount rear brakes, from Campy. Part Number: CL02-DB140. A clean and easy part number. You need two of these. The front specialized adapter will make the 140 fit a 160 rotor. The 140 rear can be stacked with any plain jane spacer for a 160 rotor.
There is virtually NOTHING for set-up which is not in this video:
GIVE THE LADY WHAT SHE WANTS:
In fact all of the Campy kit is completely a 'la carte, and simple to order to get things perfectly tuned to one's preferences. The Chainrings ship separate of the cranks, and both come in abundant sizes, lengths, and combinations. I had the most simple and smooth selection and purchase experience with a local vendor called EuroBikeParts. They are linked here, and from my experience, I can highly recommend you buy your next Campagnolo Gruppo from Dom -- He is amazing.
Campy Cog-sets have brilliant combinations with single-step spacing at the bottom of the cluster cone, to pace cadence perfectly with your output capability. The chain is lithe, slick black, simple to break and just as easy to re-connect with a quick-link... No more "snap-off" pin or "peening" to loosen the links. I did it with a Compact Park 12 speed chain tool, without issue.
The Crankset is pure magic. Wickedly rigid glowing forged carbon -- To this extent; after replacing my Dura-Ace, My bike felt far more responsive, like a Tarmac or Time Bike BB -- Far more propulsive and had way more (perceived) drive power. Even with injuries and my head position higher to dodge my cracked ribs. I felt my output was stronger, watts higher, and Moving Pace was about six seconds lower per mile over a two hour ride. I couldn't tell you my wattage gain or loss, because I'd opted to pocket the expense of the Campy 13 Power meter crank-set and get back to riding without seeing my retarded data sets.
Here are the options for Chainrings:
45/29 | 48/32 | 50/34 | 52/36 | 53/39 | 54/39 | 55/39
My Build was a 172.5, 10/38, 48/32 140 rear 160 front.
My Aethos Frame is BSA, and the Campy BB called QCK-Tech uses the Blue Park Notch tool so that was a no-brainer. The BB is silky smooth and the bearings are pre-mounted (not in the cups, but on the Ti axle). The BB has some sort of retainer clip which made zero sense to me, and is placed on the non-drive side outer cup after installing it. The clip doesn't get inserted anywhere, and this is the ONLY thing where instructions are vague and even mystifying. The clip (shown below) attaches to a groove around half the circumference of the left cup with two pinholes to guide install. With the exception of this $3.50 part the entire bike can be built and tuned in two hours. It is (perhaps) Best to do the deed and pull your brake hoses through the frame before the BB cups go in though. Wink!
Brakes and Such
The Campy hoses are pre-connected to the calipers, and are pre-bled. They come with a stainless notched eyelet plug attached to the cut end, so one can use a piece of string, or monofilament to fish the hoses easily. Once done with the drudgery of hose routing, and with the Hoods mounted -- One can cut and connect the new Campy Hoses without any fuss or loss, such that the Brakes DO NOT require any bleeding. Whew!
The Hose connection on the levers has a flexible L-Shaped banjo extension which nests in the carbon lever body, but flexes out for simplicity -- Making the measurement, cutting, and insertion of the Hose far faster, more flexible, and more simplistic than both "S" brands. This is because the caliper hose doesn't need to be contorted to fit into the unyielding lever body. You don't need to first tape the hose to the bars, then measure cut and remove the tape again, just to seat them. Only to discover that the front was cut too long or short. The Calipers come complete with a barb, and olive, and Campy says that you should first press-in the barb, then place the olive into the lever's flexy Stainless Banjo fitting -- And then insert the collar & hose, cinch the lock-nut slightly to grab the olive within. This allows one to pull the hose with olive back out to observe (amusedly) how the olive magically seated perfectly. Full Install details are all covered by a half dozen very well done YouTube tutorials produced in perfect English. These are Far more intuitive instructions than Shimano, and of course those childlike Ikea Instructions from SRAM.
I routed, cut, connected, and cinched my two hose fittings to the Brake Levers, wiped the bars with ISO, re-installed the Pads, and Wrapped the Bars in less than 40 minutes. When my wheels were installed the Brakes had zero fade, and perfect modulation. I didn't use Campy rotors, as I had the ICE-Tech Shimano 9 series discs already on a set of wheels and they bed-in perfectly without chatter, or bite.
If this super simple set-up experience is shared by other techs installing New Hydro Brakes & Hoses --then Please share; Because I have NEVER had a Brake go together without the need to bleed, and certainly NOT a new product on it's first try. The Campy Brakes have wonderful modulation, brilliant stopping power, zero screech, but they are a bit bulky. The SR13 Brakes are basically the same ones they've been making for a few years, and have not evolved in this release. They don't necessarily need to, but I can imagine the next iteration will be smaller, sleeker, and better. In fact I'd not put it past Campagnolo to forge carbon for their next release.
Shifting and Shift Tuning.
Setting up the Campy Derailleurs is simple, and straightforward. Of course they have an APP, but the basics like shift limits, and such are analog. The Rear Mech comes with a UDH extension attached, and so if you have a standard direct mount hanger (gasp!) then you simply remove this linkage.
Once attached to the bike, pairing is simply a matter of installing two expensive batteries, and turning on the shifter. Shaking the bike to wake the derailleurs helps if you move slowly. Shifters latch to the closest BT Kit in initial pairing mode, as if by magic. You can reset them simply, if you fuck that up and or if you have a busy shop, and there are others messing about with Campy... but there is NO reason to curse yet, because there is NOTHING "Campy-Strange", proprietary, or even "Italian-esque" about set-up.
Fine tuning in the APP is a bit like Shimano, but in the current APP the micro-adjustment is more a listening exercise, because Campy do not graphically display the increments on a visual scale in their APP, like E-tube. ...At least not yet. The APP is simple, elegant, and free of agreements, and safety warnings. It just works.
The Campy APP is less about tracking you and your data, like SRAM, and more about the utility of fine tuning, battery level, and configuration. So if you crave DATA, and stats for gear usage, and why you always spin in your little ring, then keep it on the trainer -- Because Campagnolo was never for you.
Campagnolo have room for improvement, but they needn't to do much more to keep up with their competition. Except perhaps to release a Chorus Analog. Also their Brand Ethos forbids them from being kitschy and data driven, in favor of being functional and damn sexy.
Who knows what is next.
Here are some of the current 13 speed Cassette Options which make your cadences feel far more natural and even effortless:
- 10-29 (10/11/12 – 13-14-15-16-17-18 – 20/23/26/29)
- 10-33 (10/11/12 – 13-14-15-16-18-20 – 23/26/29/33)
- 11-32 (11/12/13 – 14-15-16-17-18 – 20/23/26/29/32)
- 11-36 (11/12/13 – 14-15-16-18-20 – 23/26/29/32/36)
When I ride One-By, I dread many long varied rides and races, because regardless of gear combinations chosen -- There seems to be no way to achieve both subtle shifts in cadence that bring about a comfortable rolling Audax, and a Short Smiling Sprint up a steep hill. Lest we mention the downhill where you spin-out at 27 MPH. And now... it's Time to coast. Mind you, I love the coast, but if you roll a small front chainring on your trainer, and wonder why you underperform on the flats, then you are (generally) a SRAM fan and you now know why.
Most big events begin with some huge initial climbs to sort the wheat from the chafe, and then "FLATLANDIA" upon a mesa, for three-four hours, before your decent into madness for having the wrong gearing all the while and then spinning out on the downhill. This seems to be how most Endurance, and Light Gravel courses are organized. Let's say you have a single 44 or 46 up front [GASP!], and you want to cruise up a steep hill into a mesa, and then flat-land for 50 miles, before rolling back down the mountain. You have perhaps the right front gear, but to make it up the steepest hills, you will want a wide range rear, and even in 13 speed, the One-By world is a foolish game of compromise, and frustration always hunting for good cadence.
A close Cluster solves for that. This I suppose will all get resolved with the next 14 speed ovation.
To that extent, one could SRAM it uphill with their bone stock combo's, or roll a GRX set-up -- But when the road plateaus out, you will always crave that mythical gear in-between the ones you actually have. Such as Fourteen.
Lest we mention back-pedaling. In every event this year with a steep descent... Those young ONE-BUY kidz rolling in their smallest cog, made the mistake of pedaling backwards on the coast, and threw their chain. Depending on free-hub drag, you may bury (or worse) wrap the chain in the stay. Yikes!
If you buy a Classified rear two-speed hub, you will adore the variety, but you still don't really want that small 40-42 ring up front. Classified gets you into 2X simply, but having owned a few sets, the rolling drag, and shifting performance is Shitty at best whether you prefer Shimano or SRAM.
13 Speed two-by with a broad range cluster in baby-steps is blissful.
Campy makes these short steps in spinning cadences quite brilliant in their new 13 speed cassettes.
But even on Campy's last SR foray (called SRW), their gearing was brilliant. They now also make
a 1X [one-buy] - 13 for those so inclined, and the extra gear helps a ton.
But 1x is perhaps best reserved for Real Gravel, or for those who only want one bike to rule them all, such as my brother, and of course for pussies and for "Down-Country", and NOT for Tarmac. If you were raised with Three-By, then you can walk and chew gum at the same time.
The Magical Tactile Interface
The Study of Ergonomics, is not as simple as adding buttons everywhere... It is a process of sculpting and refinement, and it astonishes me just how good it has become. When SRAM hoods hit the Ozempic train to bury their piston below their waistline -- Red became slim enough to wear a bikini, but the hoods felt slim and childish like a Honda rebel. Shimano Hoods feel great, adequate and supple, but the drops on both are often perilous to hit paddles.
Shifting Ergonomics are the main reason for this post.
The feel and shifting in the new Campy Kit, is nearly as smooth as SRAM and Shimano, meaning that it is Rico Suave, but still Campy. Always a positive index. But while adding a gear and a narrower chain, does in theory make the transitions smoother than 12 -- Well, it's still Campy. So there is still a bit of a Ka-Chunk! in a few modalities. Perhaps that's owing to my technical tuning acumen. But the Feel is great.
Where this kit really shines, is it's ergonomics. You find the touch-points to be intuitive, and natural. Many automotive companies, and even phones had replaced tactile buttons with touch screens and scroll wheels, but buttons, and well placed buttons are flooding back.
After My hand and ribs were broken in a crash caused by a distracted driver, and I'd learned that even wiping with my left was daunting... I was hopeful that my first recovery ride would be a bit easier with my new kit. It was. I set-up my buttons to run the range far simpler than the S Brands, and became giddy with how intuitive the ergonomics were.
Campagnolo SR13 HOODS ARE SIMPLY as close to perfect as Cycling has evolved, thus-far. The buttons may take a few rides to customize to whatever modality works best for you, BUT, the button layout and actuation is bliss.
The Campy Layout:
The "Thumb Paddle" is reachable from the [...well], "Thumb", but also it is easy to actuate from the Deep Drops with a wrapped index or ring finger., These "Paddles" are just as useful gripping right under the hoods in a climbing sprint stance, as a natural slacker hood head-up position.
The Bonus Button out front on the inner hoods is in nearly perfect placement. you press the button with the inside of your hand without any change to grip. The actuation is positive and subtle, and these can be set-up anyway you like, so If you seldom use your small chainring, you can mock the paddles, or set the left for up the cassette and the right for down. The same is true of the so called thumb shifter, it is perfectly placed. Former Campy thumb shifters used to rub my thumb knuckle, this sits silently until needed, and then is just there.
This is my button set-up:
Right Paddle descends the block, and the right thumb moves up, while the Left Paddle goes to Bigger gears, and the thumb to smaller up front. This seems to be the best analog to Both SRAM and Shimano such that I don't have a tough time committing all of these six buttons to muscle memory.
Shifting is consistent, fast, and relatively quiet for Campy. An occasional Ka-Chunk isn't disconcerting and is perhaps the ONLY bit of Nostalgic Campy throwback in this kit. The Rest just works and the gear ratios are near perfect. This is where Shimano are heading with their 13 speed, and so we will see how that lands, when they release theirs. If Shimano were to steal one feature from Campy this year, I rather adore their paddles behind the brake lever. By making these into windows like Super Record, The opening is far simpler to identify with the fingers. It feels right to place a finger on a recessed impression.
In the best sense of the adage... The Campy 13 raises the bar for both shifting, and cadence. In a 1X cluster, if you want a '14 T' then you are out of luck, and I can't express how frustrating most 1X's are for epic rides. I seem to always want to be in a gear that I don't have, even when climbing.
More 1X love
Two Brilliant articles, both [point and counterpoint] from "VELO" Outside on "ONE-BUY" and "Two-By" become clever sales pitches which seem more tuned toward emotional Brand allegiance than with facts.
But I totally agree with Logan Jones-Wilkins that:
"YOU CAN TAKE MY FRONT DERAILLEUR WHEN I'M DEAD"
IMHO 1X (pronounced ONE-BUY) is best for Mountain, "Down-Country" (whatever the fuck that is), and Super-Gnar-Gravel "Off of the road", but unless you have a Classified System... Then you will despair not having
Two-By (2X) on tarmac.
Anyway, the Campy platform is geared for both 1x and 2x, and could easily sail through cyclocross this Autumn in 2x mode. The rear mech has what they call a Nano-clutch, and is engineered for gravel, and 1X, but is not the so called "X" version for offroad. This "Nano" mystery keeps the chain taught on washboard, and works well.
The "X" stands for pure gravel and is a unique crossover version, which I wont be discussed here, simply because I don't have the need for 1X.
Another bonus with SR-13 is that the chain glides forward and backward like an 18c tire on black ice. Unlike 1X narrow-wide drop-stop profiles, the back-pedal coast doesn't drop the chain on the small cogs.
Whereas some of the young kids ONLY know ONE-BUY, and will ONLY BUY what the internet tells them to get. SRAM Pounced on a market gap, and simplified their offerings simply because they couldn't initially get their front mech to shift. Later they purged their closet, along with employees who dared tell them their system sucked, and with a clean sheet of paper and the help of some automotive engineers, they made their way in a world dominated by Shimano. They are crushing it now, but an Acura is still a Honda.
Suffice to say that Campagnolo Super Record 13 Wireless is rather cool.
Say what you will about quirky Italian Design, and Form over function, but the New Campy nails it. The shifting with a broken hand, and the broad body positioning afforded by their hood's ergonomics are nearly enough to threaten the competition. Whereas it is also true that their shit works great, and the set-up was simple and straightforward -- The New Campy is a brilliant (cheaper) alternative to the other two. I'd say that if you roll into the mix, their trademark oozing sexy design, and a legacy of innovation, formerly stymied by lack of investment, or lost focus... The new Campy is nearly perfect, and it has that boutique feel of something which other's don't have. Like owning a Leica or seeing a band in a bar well before they went double platinum. Yes, I'm being smug, but I'm glad that Campagnolo have found their way back. I suppose I'm also glad that Pinarello, [another arguably polarizing Italian brand accused of form before function], have recently taken a minority stake in Campagnolo's growth plans. ...And that it's NOT UAE Blood-Oil Money. See also Cycling's greater acquiescence, to sports-washing or Colnago's for that matter.
It has not been since the 90's that Campy have paddled out deep, and taken the first wave, rather than merely responding to their competition.
Bravissimo!
