Ceci n'est pas une bicyclette

Image courtesy of Vintage Electric Bikes USA; The Scrambler "e-bike"

"The famous pipe. How people reproached me for it! And yet, could you stuff my pipe? No, it's just a representation, is it not? So if I had written on my picture 'This is a pipe', I'd have been lying!"— René Magritte[4]  "The Treachery of images" was painted by Rene Magritte perhaps intent to upset some, and to define what an object is, by what it is not, Pushing new boundaries in the 2-D art form, Magritte's illustration may have muddied an already unclear direction for modern art, or it may have sorted some things out, ushering a discussion about what it is. 
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The above "e-bike" may be the same sort of representation. It's a two-dimensional illustration on a flat surface, and you cannot ride the image, but Is this a bike? Is it a Triumph Motorcycle?, The answer is cloudy. I can tell you that it's not the Bicycle image that springs to mind when I'm asked to conjure one.  That is, that I don't commonly store the above image in the scattered papers of my brain, and pull it out when someone begins a fond story about their Bicycle. Using the Noun "Bike" loosely we could call nearly any self-propelled two-wheeled transportation with a seat and handlebar a Bicycle, but... Do they deserve it? When does the bike become something else?  If you were to meet someone at a dive bar, and they say, "Want another?" and you tell them "No thanks", (you can only have one beer, because), "... I'm on my bike" -- They may ask you excitedly, " Oh really!...What kind of bike do you ride?"  (Pause), fade to a silent moment with your thoughts: {she thinks I have a motorcycle}
We have all been there, The moment where you realize that they raised a brow, moving in closer, becoming chummy, imagining the free spirit of a winding road, wind in their hair, as in Easy Rider, only to discover that you meant "Bicycle" and now they are disappointed, because a moment ago they thought you were cooler, than they do now. It's not a motorcycle.
They thought you rode a motorcycle to the bar.  You tell them you,  "Um, ride a bike a lot", and -- They know it must account for your lean form, but your health is less socially important to them at that moment than it may be to produce a BMW R1200 GS, or to chat about their last Harley for hours. You quickly change the topic, and they look away, blankly bored as if betrayed by something.  ...Another  Pause...
Now, if only you rode the "Bike" above, you may be able to salvage half of their fantasy, Because it is motorized, but you will soon discover that any Biker version of the same story with an "E-Bike" will also end as betrayal. In particularl if they ask to go for a ride, or mention anything about Sturgis, South Dakota.
You see, the e-bike is not a motorcycle, and so it gets easily edged out of that camp, And you only need to go to one bar in the countryside to verify that fact. The "e-bike", -- What it is, may best be defined by what it is not... I'll put it to you again; Is the image below a bike?
​Really?

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"The Treachery of images" was painted by Rene Magritte, c. 1929

Luna Cycles, "Sur Ron X" Electric-Bike

It would seem to me that "Bike" used to mean Bicycle; and with a "Motor" it would simultaneously become a new compound word; "Motor-Bike", or "Motor-Cycle" no? Let's back-pedal, and search for more meaning here. A bicycle is commonly defined and consensually agreed to be roughly the same thing in any language, and anywhere in the world.  It is true that some use them differently from the Flying Pigeon of China, to the Trek 520 from Wisconsin.  Bicycles are commonly seen and revered as the same thing, albeit mechanically a bit unique, as a Sedan would be to a Coupe, they are both cars.  But when a smug kid passes you on a path as you mash the pedals to a clip of 24 mph, and they smirk back toward you as they pass pressing their throttle, gloating at how much less work they are doing, and shaming you for not doing the same... Is this fricking punk kid riding a "Bicycle"?  No they are not.  
Back to basics, Does it have pedals? A motor assist bicycle is still a bicycle, right? hmm. Have you ever been clipped by someone texting and coasting at 20 mph on their "e-bike" while you and a friend are pedaling on a fast cat & mouse ride along your favorite course?  Have you ever dodged a Segway turning suddenly on a Bike Path?, or passed a Beach-Cruiser fitted with a growling 2 stroke motor?  Have you ever been startled when a motorized skate-board barrels onto the bike lane from the Convenience Store, with a burrito in one hand and a speed controller in the other?
I have, and I can tell you by that nuisance that, none of these are "Bikes", perhaps they have two wheels, and something to steer with, but they don't fit my definition of a bike. You can look it up for yourself, but I'm rather certain that most if all definitions distill down to the same, and that they all include locomotion driven by pedals, with a saddle and handlebars. The other Category being a "Motorized-Bicycle"  If you've not seen the animated film Wall-e, then you may not get where this is headed; But I can see a conveyor in the future where we all are carried from one visual stimuli to the next and even the shower in a motorized seat, with a cup-holder.  

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Image Capture Courtesy of Disney Pixar's Animated Film "Wall-E" c.2008 People on Conveyors in Space.

 Is it really so dystopian to imagine everyone's forward momentum propelled by LiPo and a brushless motor?  It isn't.  If you haven't ridden an E-Bike, a Segway, or an Electric Skateboard, then you really should try them, but not on the "Bike Path". In Fact everyone should try one when they can, and if nothing else, some will be selected out of the pool naturally by an incident, while others will pass you smugly as you actually pedal your bike, or (gasp!) Jog by.  What is fundamental to the "E-bike" momentum is the need for stuff, and everybody may already have a bike, so why not also a bike with a motor?  Recently I saw a motorized bike that rides as a boat, and a motorized surfboard is making gains, as well as the venerable Jet-Pack, which we all were promised when we were young.  I want a Jet-Pack, and I've ridden all the rest, but I am not sure about the new category the "E-bike" being called a "Bike", in fact in Apple iOS Parlance, the "EBike" would most certainly be an "eBike", and however it is spelled, it is a conjunction of "Electric" and "Bike" so as such, it is not a Bike. When Rene Magritte painted a Pipe and boldly wrote in the piece that it was not what it appeared, the Polish-American scholar Alfred Korzybski (a contemporary of Magritte), was developing "General Semantics", he was quoted as saying, "The word is not the Thing", and the "Map is not the Territory", which aligns with the argument that Magritte made, that his illustration is not the thing, Nor an illusion, but a language. art, allusion, and language all fall short of the Thing. Quite like when Three patties, Bacon, Avocado, and a Cracked-egg, stretch the truth about what a hamburger is. Cheese curds, wings, and a slider skewered atop a bloody-mary edge both the burger and the Bloody dangerously close to becoming a new object.  So if we are all good with that concept, and the inevitable conveyor we will end up on after enjoying  the burger, the bloody to, and our eBike, --Then the illustration of both the bike and the eBike fall short of the experience of riding them.  The word bike is not the actual bike, true. It is however not cool to gloat that you don't need to pedal, while you zip past as if the Bicycle had advanced and I simply didn't get the memo. It's not a bike, if you have no pedals. If it does have pedals, but you cannot pedal it when it's out of batteries because it's too damn heavy, then it's not a Bike -- It's a Moped.  When we dip into our brain's romantic ideal of what a Bike is, applying fond nostalgia, of training wheels and a skinned-knee, that image in your head with the kick-stand down, chain grease on your cuff, glittering grips, and a chrome sissy bar... That bike, --'Click!', Capture that image, because that is a Bike.  So it follows both semantically, and generally that an eBike, may be fun, but it is not a Bike. Ceci n'est pas une bicyclette

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